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New Best Practice

March 11, 2008


As is true in the U.S., when a big deadline is looming, very few things will grant one leave from work. In the past month or so, I’ve found that only two excuses guarantee an early exit: severely contagious diseases and death.

Since boyfriend’s arrival, though a momentous occasion to yours truly, did not exactly fall under either of the aforementioned situations, I found myself at work until 8:45 pm. A hurried drive through torrential downpours (slight exaggeration) and quick stops at no less than 4 gas pumps for a total of 3L of ‘petrol’ (no exaggeration) later, I arrived home at 9:45.

Even though I was getting back 3 hours later than I had originally promised, I figured Boyfriend would barely notice. With his general disregard for time exacerbated by 10 hours worth of jet lag – I figured he’d be all set for dinner the moment I opened the door. As I walked the 3 flights of stairs up to the apartment, thoughts of a homemade dinner that included non-carb items flashed through my head. Fish with fresh vegetables? Chicken and rice? What would our very first homemade dinner together be? As I unlocked the front door, my mouth watered in anticipation of the smells of dinner being prepared. I open the door and…

Smelled boy shampoo.

Granted, I am a culinary novice,  but I’m still fairly certain Head & Shoulders is a minor player in most recipes.

I followed the scent of H&S upstairs and find a clean boyfriend wiping down the sink. “This was a mess. I had to clean it.”

This, while surprising, did not impress me. I thought the bits of Colgate on the sink went nicely with the shower curtain. I went straight into nag mode:

Me: “It’s almost 10pm. You took a shower and cleaned the bathroom but didn’t make dinner?”
BF: “10pm? Huh. I thought it was like 6. [see what I mean? there are no clocks in Lou World.]
Me: “Right. So time for dinner?”
BF: “There’s no food.”
Me: “You’ve been home for 10 hours. The grocery store was open for 8 of those hours. ”
BF: “You locked me in.”

Me: “Oh. ”

Lest anyone else repeat my mistake, let me share a new ‘best practice’:

When leaving a person home alone for the day, make sure they have keys to the place. And if they do not, do not lock the door behind you when you leave for the morning.

Otherwise your first big meal together will consist of tomato soup and (slightly) frozen bread.

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