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Wedding Planning: The Options

September 23, 2009

Right. So. In the previous post, I mentioned the biggest hurdle we are facing in reaching the holy grail of wedding planning – the setting of the date – was winning the Numbers Game.

As I see it, we have three options. 3. Trois. Drie. Tres.

1. Suck It Up. We “suck it up” and invite everyone. All 350+ of our nearest & dearest. Plus our parent’s nearest & dearest and our parent’s friend’s nearest & dearest.

(+) We will be surrounded by everyone we know & love.

(+) No one is offended. Everyone is happy.

(-) I have panic attacks leading up to the big day and end up exhausted, frazzled and awkward around  strangers.

(-) We eat ramen for the first two years of marriage to pay off the reception.

(-) If the celebration lasts 8 hours we will have approx. 1.4 minutes to spend with each guest. Ok for some, not so much for those people we only get to see a few days each year.

2. Barefoot in the Sand. We do a destination wedding at a beach resort in the Caribbean or Florida or Mexico or Hawaii. We invite 100 or so family & friends and have a 4 day beach vacation.

(+) Just the right size.

(+) At least 4 days spent with our best friends and close family.

(+) Offending of family members is kept to a minimum.

(+) Ocean! Sea breeze! Sun! Perfect weather! Tropical drinks! Tans! Snorkeling! Sailing!

(+) Fresh, delicious seafood & fruit for the reception.

(+) We’d only have to eat ramen for a few months after the wedding.

(+) EASY to plan. (call up the resort, explain you’d like a wedding, block off rooms for guests, show up, party.)

(+) It would be casual and, above all, fun!

(+) I love, LOVE, love, love, LOVE the beach!

(+) Who wouldn’t want to get married in paradise?

Gazebo? With palm trees? Sigh…

(-) Boyfriend HATES the beach.

(-) Boyfriend HATES sand.

(-) Boyfriend loathes the idea of a wedding that involves the beach and sand.

(-) Simply put, Boyfriend does not want to get married in paradise!

(-) To have my dream beach wedding I’d need a new fiance.

3. Love in Leuven. We invite family & friends for a wedding weekend (week!) in our favorite place in the whole world… Leuven! We’d get married in one of the amazing old churches and have the reception in one of the manor houses or our favorite restaurant or perhaps near the Begijnhof (a Unesco Heritage Site!). We could end the night with drinks in the Oude Markt and have a brunch & brewery tour the next day. Maybe a chocolate tour? Hmm…

(+) Everyone knows that both BF & I love Belgium. And we’re obsessed with Leuven. At last we’d be able to show our family & friends why.

(+) It’d be the epitome of intimate (maybe 25 friends & family from the US would be able to come? plus another 20-25 friends from around here?). More like inviting people to our elopement.

(+) It’d certainly be unique.

(+) We wouldn’t have to eat ramen unless we REALLY wanted to.

(+) We’d be able to spend quality time with friends & family.

(+) We’d get some amaaaazing pictures.

We could have the civil ceremony at the Stadhuis…
We could take pictures in front of the library…

We could get married in this church…

We could have the reception in the Groot Begijnhof area of Leuven…

(-) It would be a serious expense for friends & family.

(-) We’d offend a lot of people.

(-) Some of our closest friends & family would not be able to come.

Hmmmmm… tricky, tricky, tricky.

Fortunately, we have nearly come up with a solution. Nearly.

Details to follow tomorrow.

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. September 23, 2009 11:15 am

    Hey! Thought I would offer up some advice. Looking back on my wedding, I would have done it differently. Not that I didn’t LOVE how my wedding went, but after reviewing the stress and money spent, I realized it would have been just as special if we had had a small wedding with nothing fancy. If I were to do it again, I would totally spend the money on the dress and flowers, but I would just have my immediate family and a few close friends and get married on the beach some where. Now, seeing as your man is not a fan of the sand, the beach is probably not the best idea, but I’m sure you have a few ideas of where you could go.

    For those who are not invited to the wedding or reception, you could always do what we did for the Michigan folks who refused to travel to PA for our wedding, have a reception type thing for them somewhere. You don’t have to get fancy, you could just serve cake and cookies, you can wear your dress again and the boy can just wear a suit so everyone can see how you looked, you’ll get presents and everyone should hopefully be happy.

    I feel for you guys on this wedding planning. It’s really hard to figure out what’s the best way to do it so you don’t offend a large number of people, but I always figured, if they are offended by my choice for MY wedding then they didn’t need to be there anyways. =)

    Do what YOU and your BF want to do, not what anyone else tells you you should do. Its your day, not theirs! And for once, ITS ALL ABOUT YOU!

    Good Luck!! Let me know if I can help in any way! Even if you just need to vent your frustrations, I’m here!

    Talk to you soon!

    • brittspencer permalink*
      September 24, 2009 1:22 pm

      Thanks Suz!!

      We are actually going to do our best to follow your advice. Find the perfect balance between keeping everyone else happy AND keeping US happy!

      I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that you & that lovely baby of yours are going to be stuck in the US for the next year? If not, you should definitely come to Leuven… If so, I will expect to see the you at my US wedding! (whenever that is!)

      • September 25, 2009 8:26 am

        You can count on us being there! We wouldn’t miss it! I’m glad to see things are working out!!

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